Parenting Your Parent With Out Losing Your Mind and Money
While there are plenty of books on the market on how to be a parent and “what to expect,” I’ve yet to see a book on “What To Expect When You Care For Your Aging Parents.”
In a recent blog about the stresses of caring for your parent, Glenn Ellis points out that the emotional and physical strain on adult children who are caregivers is tremendous. They are found to typically have one or more chronic conditions, such as high blood pressure, at nearly twice the rate of all Americans. Additionally, 91% of those who say their own health has worsened because of caregiving report depression.
It’s a delicate balance to make the transition from child to caregiver. A mix of emotions is involved from guilt to denial to frustration. It’s difficult to watch the decline of your parents and want to help when they stubbornly refuse it. Living a distance away when you can’t check in on them on a daily basis brings guilt. And of course there’s the stress of realizing that your retirement nest egg is quickly eroding if you’ve moved them into an assisted living facility. I’ve heard of too many instances where a family has had to move their parent out of assisted living because they’ve simply run out of money.
What’s the solution? Multigenerational dwelling . Not only is the solution significantly cheaper than assisted living facilities or nursing homes, but it allows families to stay together which is proven to reduce depression in the elderly. There are, however, logistical considerations. Many homes are not designed for the accessibility and safety issues that seniors face. These home modifications, which would include redesigning bathrooms, enlarging doorways to accommodate a wheel chair and adding other safety and accessibility features, can be time consuming and
costly.
PALS Built has created beautifully designed modular home additions that can be attached on to an adult child’s home in as few as eight weeks. They are a fraction of the cost of assisted living and even more cost effective than having a builder remodel your home. These studio, one-bedroom or two-bedroom suites are completely handicap accessible and universal designed and match the exterior of the “host home” seamlessly. What’s more, because they are an addition with a separate entrance, they offer a degree of independent living and privacy for your parents. And, if it’s a temporary PALS addition, when it’s no longer needed the addition can be sold back to PALS Built and removed through a Short Term Financial Adjustment Program.
Have you dealt with the emotional and financial stresses of caring for your aging parent? How did you manage it?